You Should Like Your Face: A Pep Talk

    From the moment we hit puberty we are plagued with self-doubt. Looking in the mirror, and immediately reciting a laundry list of our own flaws. Everything about us is wrong, and we whine to the universe, if only I was a different way, everything would be better... right?    
  
    Then hopefully (and I do mean hopefully, because countless amounts of people go throughout life never experiencing this moment of discovery), you'll have an epiphany. You'll realize that although you don't look like a Heidi Klum or a George Clooney, neither Heidi Klum nor George Clooney looks like you. You return to that cursed mirror and take a long, hard look at yourself. You shrug and think, I can work with this.
    
    Now mind you, I am not promoting vanity. You should take pride in your appearance, but don't think you're the end all and be all of beauty. Because trust me, if there's one thing you can count on in the unforgiving world, it is that there will always be someone more attractive than you.
    
    Say you don't have an eureka moment, and you are still not overjoyed with your exterior, remember that your inside plays a big part as well. We've all had the experience of meeting someone who, initially, we did not find very attractive (it's not bitchy, it's natural), but then after getting to know them, who knows? We may even consider marrying them and moving to one of those middle states whose names we always forget.
    Intelligence, for example. Personally, I find intelligence one of the biggest turn ons. ("What's that? You want to tell me your opinion on the current financial crisis in Greece and Spain, and the steps the EU has taken to remedy the issue? Cool. Mind if I mount you while you're doing this?) So if you're intelligent: BOOM. There you go. Immediately more attractive. Woohoo!
   
    Still haven't convinced yourself? Well, I'm a strong believe in the power of a smile. When someone gives a wide, toothy (yes, TOOTHY, no smiling without your teeth, that makes you look disturbed) grin, I can't help but feel attracted to them. When in doubt: smile. Because everyone's smile is beautiful.
    
    I like my face, and you should like yours too.

    Voila! That was my pep talk. Now go forth, young grasshopper with that likeable face, flourish and have sex with the world. Just remember that no one's smile lines or forehead crinkles are exactly like yours (besides those of your doppelganger), so own them.



Your faithful blogster, Jacob.

The Lost Medium of Writing

    Writers are often overlooked. I constantly hear, "That book was AMAZING," and they'll go on a tangent praising the book, never once mentioning the author, acting as if it wrote itself.    
    Maybe it's because, technically, almost everyone can write. We all learn how to write at a young age, so thereby we write off (pun intended) authors as nothing special. "So what if they can "write"? So can I." Versus musicians or artists, where not everyone can do what they do, so they are therefore exalted.
   
    The world takes writers for granted. They always expect there to be a morning newspaper, but never stop to think about who writes it. But if you actually try to write, you'll realize just how hard writing truly is. If a book makes you cry, or for that matter, feel anything at all, the author is to be applauded. Instead, they're forgotten.
   
    Now, not all writers go unsung. Singer-songwriters receive universal acclaim for their lyrics. This is most likely because people are hearing the words aloud, which is not the case with books or magazines, so they are unable to ignore them.

    So, I ask: Why shouldn't writers be the rock stars of our time? Why do singers, musicians, dancers, and artists get all the glory? Show them writers a bit of love.


Your faithful blogster, Jacob.

Crank Dat Shiz Up, Homie, Iz About To Go DOWNNNN!!! (Vulgar Post #2)

  I may be falling back into an old pattern (ew, personal, get away! Just say something slightly amusing!). So instead of elaborating further on this matter, I've decided to switch topics suddenly. VIRGINITY!! What song do you want to be playing the background when you lose it?

         *DISCLAIMER: I am aware that there is a 95% chance that no music will be playing the background when we forsake our innocence... but isn't it fun to ponder?*

 The songs I wouldn't mind playing from the stereo as two awkward bodies rub together (in no particular order):

1.) Joan Jett - "Do You Wanna Touch Me?" : Why the hell not? It's perfect. Lyrics: "Talking is fine, if you got the time, but I ain't got the time to spare." Preach, Joan Jett, preach!

2.) Nina Simone - "Wild is the Wind" : Don't judge me. I know this is weird. But it's so freakishly romantic, and Nina's voice gives me goosebumps (her low notes make me orgasm alone, there, why not make it easier on the fella crazy enough to take me to bed?). The song is breath-taking with its sweeping piano and Nina's vocals. I may not be able to have this playing for my first time, but I am most definitely playing this while I'm in bed with a lover. 

3.) Amy Winehouse - "Amy Amy Amy" : Sorry, Ms. Oden, I know this is kinda your theme song, but it won't be for long if I lose my virginity to it. MUWHAHAHAHA!!! The lyrics, plain and simple, are just sexy.

4.) Florence + The Machine - "Leave My Body" : Honestly, I'm not 100% sure this song is about sex, but lyrics like, "I'm gonna leave my body, I'm gonna lose my mind" are definitely how I want to describe my first sexual encounter. (Unfortunately, I have a sinking feeling I will most likely be quoting Lily Allen's "Not Fair" my first time 'round: "You're supposed to care, but you never make me scream.")

The Back-Ups (Songs I Will Begrudging Lose My Virginity To):

Kelly Rowland - "Motivation"

Ciara - "Ride"

Rihanna - "Shut Up and Drive"

Mariah Carey - "Touch My Body"

Sir Mix-A-Lot - "Baby Got Back"

Who cares who made it - "Wobble"

Your faithful blogster, Jacob.