Reasons Why My Life is Cooler Than Yours

IT'S TIME TO SELF-INDULGE!!!
 

1.) My boyfriend is a celebrity.

2.) My boyfriend is Scottish.

3.) My boyfriend is HOT.

4.) I'm a wizard.

5.) My cats dance with me (they resist because they love me).

6.) I name inanimate objects in my room. (i.e. : Purple Blanket, Daggard the Magical Leaf Gnome, Mr. Quills.)

7.) My mom is the most amazing person alive: (if you haven't already gathered from my facebook statuses)

"Isn't our mailman cool looking?!?!" - Mother

"You like his dreads, don't you mom?"

"I DO!!! I find dread locks fascinating."

"Mom, you're so white."

"I know."

....

"I.. uh.... err.... damn it, I had something really intelligent and significant to say, and now I lost it." -Mother

8.) I'm in a gang.

9.) My friends write me erotic stories about my boyfriend and I.

10.) My brother is in a band... and they're actually pretty good.

11.) I once sent one of my ex-crushes a facebook message saying: "I used to like you... now I just think you're an ass." No shame, baby, NO SHAME!!

12.) I have a Britney Spears impression.

13.) I know all the lyrics to "We Belong Together".

14.) I have hips like Shakira.

15.) I'm Ms. Switek's favorite student.

16.) I'm going to ride a baby whale to Prague.

17.) My driver's ed instructor looked EXACTLY like Jane Fonda.

18.) It takes a lot for me to feel awkward.

19.) I have a high tolerance for many things.

20.) I've been called an "eyebrow guru."

21.) Two of my best friends are red-heads.... if that's not an achievement, WHAT IS?!?!?!

22.) My friends are cooler than yours.

23.) I played World of Warcraft for over three years.

24.) I have all three LOTR books, all three movies, all three extended-versions of the movie, had the action figures, played the miniatures game, played the computer game, played the video game, seen two symphony performances of it's score, can play "Concerning Hobbits" on the violin if provided with the sheet music, know all the actor's names, and have even been to the real castle in France which Tolkien based Minas- Tirith on. Need I say more? >:)

25.) I have a Godiva Rewards card.

26.) I have a Swirl card.

27.) I can indentify mystery flavors of jelly beans, and in unknown ingredients in other food.

28.) I have shiny dress shoes, which allow me to slide on marble floors.

28.) I take hideous pictures. Heidi Klum envies me.

29.) I write a kick ass blog! *snort, giggle, snort*

30.) I know my bra-size at Victoria's Secret.

Your faithful blogster, Jacob.

Risen From the Ashes

   This morning one of my favorite music artists, Amy Winehouse, overdosed. Naturally, I was extremely upset. I've been an Amy fan for a long time now, owning pretty much everything she has ever released.
   Unfortunately, Amy was more well known for her drama, addiction, and messy public appearances,  rather than her amazing music. Literally just a few days ago, Isabel was over and we were sitting in my room, jamming to her. My parents would constantly say, "Amy Winehouse? Is she dead yet?" Now I can't believe she really is. Though she was a wreck, she has pumped out some of the greatest albums and lyrics of this generation. She will be sorely missed.

   Just when I felt at my lowest, MS. SWITEK'S POSTCARD CAME FROM PRAGUE!!!! Talk about a light in the darkness. I spasmed when I got, and ran around the house at least twice.

   That's right. Be jelly. This woman is a saint. By far one of my favorite people of all time. 

Your faithful blogster, Jacob.

Awaiting Rescue After Losing My Purpose in Life

   Mary demanded a new blog post. Which is strange.... because she is in France, and she should not be reading my blog, but instead partying it up with the natives. But I can't resist that blonde's lack of charm and sassy tone..... so here is the rundown:
   I started my theatre camp, and it is okay.... the hours are brutal (9 to 5, like the Dolly Parton) and it gets kinda boring at times. Though we've had a few really cool guest teachers who teach really cool stuff. The kids are nice enough... but I feel kinda strange there. I don't know what it is, but I don't quite feel like myself when I'm there. Meh. I don't know. Naturally I've found the red-head in the group and latched onto her. She gets me. Now I just have to live through 3 more weeks of it. Woop-dee-doo.
  I find myself desperately wanting Junior year to come, so Kirby and I can do the Spain/France trip. I WANT TO TRAVEL, DAMNIT! 
  NOW that all that silly stuff has been stated, we can get onto the more pressing issue: HARRY FUCKING POTTER!!!!
  I saw it with the fabulous Shelby. We went to New York Pizza, and then got on line. Shelb brought HP Uno, so we played that, and I kicked her ass. >:) The movie was.... oh my god. It was everything I could have wished for.
  I cried at the most random times. First, when they were making the shield around Hogwarts, then oddly enough, just at an aerial shot of the Deatheaters destroying Hogwarts. At that moment  it occurred to me that Harry Potter REALLY DOES represent my childhood (well... at least the latter part of my childhood, LOTR dominated the earlier part), and I had grown up with an attachment to Hogwarts Castle, and to see it getting destroyed made me get all watery.
  Then that night, as I was sitting on my bed, and it hit me: There will not be a new Harry Potter movie, and I suddenly got very sad. I was so used to living my life with the steady expectation of a HP movie at the end of each year. WHAT NOW?!?!??!!
  The movie had such an impact on my family and I, that the morning after, my parents and I were drinking coffee talking about the movie and books so loudly we woke my brother up. He grumpily came down and ended up joining in on the conversation. Harry Potter has touched so many lives, including mine, and I will never forget it. On a sidenote, Maggie Smith did kick some SERIOUS ass. <3
*sigh*
P.S. - I just need James to swoop in, and take me to Prague, then we'll go out for drinks with Cate Blanchett, and my bestie, Anne Hathaway, and gag about Harry Potter.  

Your faithful blogster/wizard, Jacob.
  

"We Were Born and Raised, in a Summer Haze."

  There is something about long, lazy summer days that makes you quite emotionally vulnerable. I'm not sure what it is.... My brother left the house fairly early, so that means I've been left to my thoughts, some of which are:

  After watching 'Becoming Jane', I've decided if I absolutely HAD to see James with someone else, it would be Anne Hathaway, because she's.... well she's just fabulous.

 

I also watched Adele's whole entire concert at the iTunes Festival in London. I sat through all one and a half hours, and didn't budge an inch. I can't wait until I see her live when she comes in October.

   I've been a fan of her's since her debut album, '19', and I think her current album, '21', will go down in history as one of the best albums of our generation. It is absolutely phenomenal. For every song she performs and writes, she leaves her heart on her sleeve. She is truly remarkable (not to mention she has a killer personality). One day she shall be my best friend, just you wait!

Ahh well....

Your faithful blogster, Jacob.

WOE.

  Ms. Switek's postcard from Prague hasn't come yet....
-_______-

UR%$#*GEUJhgfW(E&t5whgfbsdjdt2u3UIGWE*%=UTWSF73u4tehnd9=08qtw3gr352ui!!!!!!!!!!!


Your disheartened (yet.... still faithful) blogster, Jacob.